The life I left

Querida Amiga,

For 13 years I commuted to work. 30 minutes in the morning, and if I was lucky, only 30 minutes in the evening. I would play a game with myself during my drives.

This game was called What would I do if I got to live a different life?

I would let my mind wander...would I be an interior designer in Los Angeles? What if I moved to another country, spoke a different language, and lived an entirely different life? My mind would wander like this for most of the drive.

Then I would pull into the driveway, take a deep breath, and return to reality.

For a long time, I felt stuck. I was living the life I was supposed to, so I kept comforting myself with gratitudes. I would tell myself to just focus on what was working and be grateful I had those things to hold onto. It worked. I was genuinely happy with my life.

I often describe that time as being 70% happy. My gauge being that I was happier with my life than most people are with theirs, while also knowing deep down inside there was potential for more. What would I need to change to get to 90%? What would it feel like to live a joyful life?

I had to face the truth. This life was what many wanted; however, it wasn’t the life I was meant to live.

It took many years and a series of difficult decisions, that honestly scared the crap out of me, to begin moving towards my dreams. I took baby steps. One difficult decision that led to feeling more like myself and happier, fed the desire to take another step.

A series of baby steps led to bolder moves that now not only scared me, they also were starting to make the people around me uncomfortable. I was not fitting into their expectations of what my life should be. The confidence I built in those initial baby steps helped me to stand firm in what I was starting to see was possible for myself, regardless of what others opinions were.

I started to acknowledge that the dreams that lived inside of me were not passing thoughts. They were my soul revealing itself. I was listening and following the direction my soul was guiding and not the opinions of people around me or society at large.

Fast forward to now, after years of baby steps and bold moves...the commute is a very different experience.

I ride the bus for 20 minutes to work (in non-pandemic times) and meditate on what is possible. The commute has become a time to acknowledge blessings, remind myself of who I am, and continue to listen to the voice inside speaking my purpose. I am no longer attached to what is expected of me.

This is no longer a game that I play to distract myself. This is a way of life to tap into what is alive inside of me, continue to dream bigger, and trust that I will continue moving towards the life that is meant for me.

Don’t get me wrong, everything is not rainbows and butterflies every day. There are long days when I am exhausted and in need of rest. Feeling tired from passionate living is very different than being drained from all the energy expelled to be who others expect you to be. I have moments when I am unclear regarding what comes next for me. Waiting for clarity to move audacious goals is a space of calm, since I know the answers will come.

As joyful as I am, I know there is still possibility to keep expanding. Isn’t that what life is supposed to be? Loving where we are, what we are doing, and who we are with...while stretching ourselves to continue growing into all of who we are meant to be.

Conscious evolution rooted in joy.

Quiero saber de ti. Where is your life meeting external expectations more than your personal happiness? What step(s) can you take to begin moving towards the life meant for you?  

Un Abrazo, 

Michelle

P.S. The next group coaching program for the Thriving Chingonas community will be kicking off on January 6, 2021!

The Chingona’s Sabbatical: 10 weeks to reconnect with your purpose is a journey that brings together personal exploration and weekly group coaching in a community of Latinas.

You will have access to an online platform full of video lessons, meditations, visualizations, and journal prompts that you will complete at your own pace to explore your passions, lean into your strengths, clarify your values, and reconnect with your purpose.

During group coaching, you will have a supportive community to process your journey and receive loving support toward action to the new intentions you set.

Registration will close this Friday, December 18th. 

Are you interested in kicking off 2021 together with a sabbatical? Shoot me an email and let’s talk!