Grace

Querida Amiga,

I was really frustrated with myself last weekend.

There are patterns of behavior and deficit thinking I thought I was over. I assumed they were seen, acknowledged, explored... fixed. Nope.

It just takes one interaction to spark feelings that leave my mind spiraling back to places I thought were boarded up and closed. That happened to me this weekend. I caught myself internally repeating phrases that should be long gone.

“You are too much.”

“You do not do things that help people to feel loved and appreciated. Why would they do the same for you?”

“Nothing is good enough to meet my needs, because I am not good enough to meet my needs.”

You get the point. It kept going and going. The longer I gave space and energy to the words, the more they began to take up space in my mind.

You know when las chismosas de adentro get going they don’t stop, they call more comadres in and the chisme starts taking on a life of its own.

As I started to get mad at myself for allowing this to spiral, I paused and thought, “I can make the choice to stop the spiral right now.” I decided to take a few minutes to sit and allow a guided meditation to help me process and release.

We have to accept that healing is a lifelong journey. We don’t get to a day when all negative thoughts are gone and we just om all day long. Healing does not end it evolves.

As we invest in ourselves and commit to being curious about what lives inside of us, we can creatively connect and explore what we want our lives to be. We can gain clarity on the personal practices available to us when we seek calm and a space to reconnect with our true selves.

Over time our healing journey provides us with lessons, experiences, and a toolkit that supports our ability to recover faster when we are triggered. Right now I will celebrate that a spiral that may have lasted a week before, only lasted an afternoon this past weekend.

That is progress. I may not always be able to acknowledge that; however, today I honor my progress. I feel blessed that I am on a journey of healing and that I am leaning into my agency to heal.

I popped into Instagram the next day and saw this:

you’ve allowed yourself to fall apart,

only to find your wholeness.

you chose healing,

even though you wanted to hide.

you welcomed growth, 

knowing it’d bring growing pains.

give yourself the flowers,

you are deserving of them.

— Josefina H. Sanders

I bought myself a beautiful assortment of flowers last night. I look forward to seeing them this week and being reminded of my growth over the years.

I choose to be on this journey of falling apart and connecting to all of my pieces to recreate the whole in a new way. Though this process can be uncomfortable, I trust that along the way there are enough moments of basking in healing glow to make the journey worth it.

May my flowers and glow inspire others to gift themselves flowers and bask in their healing glow.

Quiero saber de ti. What can you give yourself flowers for this week? How would you like your healing journey to keep evolving?

Un Abrazo, 

Michelle

P.S. The next group coaching program for the Thriving Chingonas community will be kicking off on January 6, 2021!

The Chingona’s Sabbatical: 10 weeks to reconnect with your purpose is a 10-week journey with dedicated time and space for us to reconnect with our passions, gain clarity of purpose, and move forward in our lives with intention guided by values. 

The beautiful part is that this will all happen in a community of Latinas on a similar journey.

The cohort is already 50% full. Registration will close on Friday, December 18th. Don’t wait and miss your spot!

Are you interested in kicking off 2021 together with a sabbatical? Shoot me an email and let’s talk!