Concious Relationships
Querida Amiga,
I have still been thinking about last week’s letter about the energy we bring to spaces and how that calls in the people we need in our lives. Calling people in is part of the equation. Maintaining healthy relationships is another. Whether someone is meant to be in our lives for a season or the rest of our journey, there is intentionality needed for that time to be fruitful for all involved.
I have been blessed with people who touched my life for a short amount of time and others who have spanned decades with me. Though time helps with deepening ties, healthy bonds do not simply grow from putting in the time.
For me, what has made a difference in the quality of my friendships has been conscious relationship building. Asking deep questions, sharing ambitious goals, celebrating our wins, and holding space for our perceived losses.
When I think of my friendships that have spanned decades, there are some common threads in the commitments we made to building our friendships and maintaining them. We have consciously built relationships rooted in values and seek to enhance who we are as individuals.
We are in deep relationship with ourselves first We seek to be connected with our own mind, body, and soul. Relationships with others are a blessing and enhance life. And we are careful to not consider them a replacement for our own inner work. When we spend time together, we are not seeking for the other to fill a void in our life. Our time together is an enhancement to our self-love journey.
Our values are aligned We share many of the same values that guide our lives. For example, with some friends, we share spirituality as a value. That means we meditate together, share the inspirations and reflections that pour from our inner voice to our journals, and swap resources that can enhance our spiritual journeys. We are also aligned when it comes to other values such as social justice, family/community, authenticity, and adventure. Our values alignment means we are often wanting to grow and expand in similar areas of our lives.
Our friendship is built with intention Through the various shifts life has brought our way, we discuss the changes happening or anticipated. We don’t just assume we know what the other needs, we check in on what is needed to navigate new seasons of our lives. Most importantly, we show up and follow through to support one another as we navigate these changes.
There are many other aspects of my friendships that I feel are special. These three aspects, in particular, have provided a strong foundation for us to thrive separately and together.
When conflict arises and communication is needed, the investment we have made in setting the intention of who we are to one another, working on our personal awareness and emotional intelligence, and leaning into our values, means we have a place to return to when we may be struggling to connect.
Amiga, I wish for you to have multiple people in your life who you build with and can truly call your mejores amistades.
Quiero saber de ti. How do you consciously build relationships with others? Who are the people in your life that you want to be more intentional with in building relationships?
Un abrazo,
Michelle
P.S. Are there amigas in your life who are also on the journey to being Thriving Chingonas? Please forward this letter to them and encourage them to sign up to receive the letters here.
