Do you graduate from coaching?
Do you ever graduate from coaching? This is a question someone asked me during a discovery call recently.
And my answer to them was: it depends. It's a different journey for everyone. So let's talk a little bit today about all the different ways that a coaching relationship can work, and when you'll know when you're done or ready to evolve into something else.
First, it depends on what kind of coaching you're looking for.
For example, if you are hiring a coach to help you to get a new job, then in that case, it could be in three to six months, you're going to either have had a job or not, and the coaching is done.
I work with folks who are leaders, and oftentimes it's more general leadership coaching that sometimes has a very specific thing that we're going to work on together. But sometimes, it’s also broader, somebody might want to work with a coach who's going to help them stay grounded in their vision of leadership, and constantly processing and navigating what they experience as a leader. That's a harder one to have an end goal with.
So why do I do six-month packages? When folks sign up to do work with me, I say six months because that's sufficient time for us to get to know each other, make some progress in our relationship, and also with your larger goals that you're creating for your life.
Most of my clients are folks who are leaders within larger organizations, who really want a place to get clear on what is it they are great at, because they’ve always done what other people told them they’re great at, but they want to start to define that for themselves. Folks of color who have been in leadership positions, but are constantly doubting themselves, struggling with never feeling like they fit in, or maybe not feeling confident to be able to authentically show up as themselves.
Some folks have been leaders for a while, or moving into a brand new leadership role, and they need to figure out for themselves what exactly they are trying to do here, what's their goal, what's their vision for as a leader… But also things like finding balance in their personal life, along with their my professional role, or being clear on things that their want to prioritize in their life.
Depending on your goals coming into coaching, you're going to have a very different experience on how long the relationship can work.
It should be no pressure. If you have somebody who you're chatting with about being coaching, and they are pushing you to sign up, that's not them helping you to get through the process of trusting your intuition and getting clear on what you need. I always say I'm going to trust you to know when the right time is and when this is going to happen.
I had a coach I worked with for two and a half years, when I was transitioning from K-12 leadership into the non-profit space. I knew I was gonna need to show up differently than what I was used to, I needed to create a new vision for what it would look like for me to lead. Because going from leading 2000 people, to having a smaller team because I was founding a local chapter of a non-profit, were both very different ways of showing up.
I worked with that coach for two and a half years because I appreciated the questions she was asking about the ways my leadership was evolving. I was already starting to build a vision of what was eventually going to become a business on the other side of that, and I wanted to be thinking about that at the same time as I was thinking of my current role.
It made sense for us to continue evolving together as long as we did, but after about two and a half years, I realized I had completely different goals for what I wanted from coaching. When I talked to her about it, she was honest about this new vision not being her area of expertise, and she referred me to some other coaches to consider. I talked to the four folks she recommended and then I ended up finding the next coach that I worked with.
So really think about what you're seeking coaching for. What do you want? What are you hoping is going to come from that relationship? That will give you a sense of how long you should work with a coach for.
Another thing to consider when seeking a coach is understanding that it is not an end goal to be healed. I've had people ask me before on a discovery call: how long is it going to take for me to be healed?
My response is usually, I believe in healing, I believe there are parts of ourselves that we engage with, we learn more about, and they might be a lot quieter, or they might step aside. But there are always different things that can happen in our life that can retrigger a past experience, and changes the way we engage with the world.
Though we can make progress in the way that we show up, your healing journey is just that: a journey. It's not an end game. So I don't believe that you go into coaching to get healed on a particular thing and it’s done. You can definitely get deeper and farther in your healing journey with a coach, but you need to understand that that will always live within you and be a part of you. You're just learning with your coach how to navigate it, engage with it, and not be fearful of those parts of yourself so that they're not blocking you from moving forward.
Many folks who come to me for leadership coaching are not specifically looking for something super strategic. They tend to come to me for leadership coaching because they know I'm going to help them to think deeper, understand their dreams and their fears, what’s coming up to the surface in the day to day. I'm doing a lot more internal work related to your leadership, as opposed to very strategic, consulting-type work. Folks who just want the tactical stuff or to figure out the logistics of particular parts of their job will be less of a fit to work with me.
So what are your goals? What are you trying to add to your leadership toolkit? Those are some things to think about.
I have a client who just renewed for the fourth time, so we're going into two years of working together. When we started out, they were brand new to a statewide leadership role and they needed somebody to guide them through how to be a different leader.
Once I establish goals with a client, that's our guide for how we want to spend our time together, what we want to focus on, while doing some check ins to see how are things evolving. But their job kept shifting and changing because there was so much changing in the organization, that we were constantly tweaking and adapting the goals to what the most immediate need was.
But there were also times when my client would want to change their goals. And I'd say, “Let's pause and think about this for a minute. Are you changing because of what you personally need as a leader? Or are you changing because of what other people are pressuring you to do as a leader?”
We keep creating new goals every six months, and our relationship keeps evolving. I'm growing with them as they're growing as a leader and our goals keep shifting to how they are shifting as a leader. They've just appreciated having a consistent person that they can meet with to fully process what they're experiencing as a leader.
I have another client who I was working with for six months. We set our intentions for our time together, but three sessions in, everything in their life dramatically changed. We took some time to process all the big changes that were happening in their life, then we made a new set of goals for this new phase that they were going to be in for the next few months.
At the end of our six months, they decided to end the coaching container to settle into all of the new changes in their life, reassess, and maybe circle back to coaching in a year or so when they may have other goals or things to work on.
And I was like, that's great. I was super grateful I was able to support them in navigating a lot of big drastic changes in a short amount of time. But also was super happy that they trusted themselves that they had new tools. On our last call together, we made sure that they were clear on how they were going to continue beyond our time together and establish new goals by themselves.
There should be no pressure for you to stay in a coaching relationship. If intuitively you feel like you have accomplished what you came for, then your coach should be happy that they set you up for success.
Coaching is not a prescription. Coaching should be a relationship that you can move in and out of as your life asks for it, needs it, wants it.
It could be with the same coach. It could be with different coaches. I've worked with a variety of coaches over the years because my goals shift. There's somebody who has a different toolkit that I'm curious about and I want to explore, and you should be able to do the same.
So just ask yourself: what is it that I'm looking for in coaching? Are you looking for a long-term relationship with someone who's really invested in you, getting to know you, keeping you grounded, and being your sounding board? What goals do you have for the time that you want to be in coaching? And what tools are you hoping to learn so that you can also look for a coach who has the toolkit that you're looking for?
I support folks with being able to identify their strengths. I help them take a look at what energizes them the most, what they love, and the work that they do. I help folks with dreaming bigger, having a clearer vision, and how do we make sure that their purpose still shows up even in the mission of any organization they’re in.
I help folks navigate where they're going next in their career, helping them to stay focused on who they are, and their purpose as they look for new roles. I am here to help folks to value their strengths, grow their confidence, have a clear vision for their life and future, and understand how they can sustain for as long as possible.
I do nervous system work, helping people to navigate all the highs and lows that can happen in their body, in their emotions, and in their thoughts as a leader.
So go out there and explore what it is you're looking for, and who matches what that is, and be open to coaching not being something that you're going to graduate from someday, a place where you're going to be healed. I encourage you to see coaching as an ongoing journey that is not prescriptive, but is an opportunity for a part of your healing journey.
If you are interested in coaching, I want to hear your story. I want to know deeply who you are, where you're at right now in your journey, and what you are starting to think about for the future. Click here to book a no-pressure discovery call.
It's kind of like a little mini-coaching session where I listen deeply and help you uncover what you truly want, so that we can make sure that if we do decide to work together, that we have very clear goals over the next few months. It's also an opportunity for you to ask me questions, especially if you’ve never worked with a coach before and want learn more about what coaching.
I'm just here to support in the ways that I can. I want more Latina leaders to be able to show up authentically as themselves and to have a clear purpose for the work that they're doing. And if that's something you're looking for, I hope we can chat.
